December 31, 2017

I’m happy the holidays are over…

It’s been a stressful month for me. December always seems to be a hard time of year because it’s always been difficult for me financially. It’s also a busy time that always makes me feel overwhelmed, tired, and rushed. Of course, this year was no exception.

I always tell myself that I will plan better the following year, but it never seems to happen. I try to put things into place that I think will help me, but something never fails comes up to throw me off track.

I’ve battled seasonal depression in years past. When I was younger, the way I dealt with it was by working during the holidays. I would always choose to work any and all holidays as a way to distract myself from the emptiness of yet another disappointing time of year. It’s much harder to do that now as a single mother. I think that it’s just not right or fair to my son to work on holidays as a single mom. If I did that, my son would be forced to spend the holiday alone just him and my mom, and in my opinion, that would just be horrible.

This year, I think things were okay. It wasn’t a great holiday time, but it wasn’t miserable either. My son got almost everything he wanted for Christmas, and I got some nice things as well. It was just boring, I guess. We didn’t do too much traveling, and we didn’t really do anything fun. It was just another month, another day, another time. Nothing special.

Maybe that’s my problem. I try really hard to make the holiday time something “special.” I mean, that’s what we are taught to believe it is, right? The holidays are supposed to special, fun, and filled with love and joy. But how come I rarely, if ever, experience them that way? Is it just my perspective? Or is it really just an ordinary day that has been commercialized with fake “happy” emotions and happy ideas?

Whatever the case may be, I’m glad it’s over. Even though I love this time of year, I hate the empty feelings I have at the same time. I don’t like feeling alone, isolated or numb. But that’s exactly how I feel.

I hope my son continues to enjoy the holidays and continues having fun. It really is only for him that I “play along” with everything. Because if I didn’t have a kid, I know I wouldn’t even bother with having a tree, decorations, or like I said, taking time off work. But I do it all for my boy.

Am I the only one who doesn’t really enjoy the holidays? Or does anyone else have a love/hate relationship with this time of year? I’m sure I’m not alone… let me know your thoughts.

Desiree Peeples is a Las Vegas reporter and healthy lifestyle expert. She focuses on plant-based eating, natural beauty, and simple, time-saving home organization projects.

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